On my most recent b’day, I went to the wedding of a very close friend. During the reception, the groom came over and apologised for not wishing me happy b’day earlier (which I was seriously VERY moved by); then just after they cut their wedding cake, they announced to all the guests that it was my b’day.
And I cried. Like, sh*t be outta control cried.
But, that’s only the beginning. The girl who sat next to me (who happens to be my bridesmaid), was also unable to control her emotions and cried like a girl. Then followed by another friend, who too joined us and cried like a baby. Just as I sat down after blowing out the candle, I saw a 4th girl on the same table wiping away her tears.
Suddenly, half the table was crying.
Then about 2 weeks ago, our friend shows us her wedding photo, and I made 2 very serious discoveries:
1. I am an ugly crier.
That’s totally a thing. Some people can cry gracefully, and generally those graceful criers won’t distort their face when they cry. So it’s just their poker face with tears streaming down. Others like Emma Watson who will look good in any situation.
Most of the time I think I cry like this:
But, sad reality is, my crying face is a combination of this:
I STRUGGLE to keep my mouth shut and I have absolutely NO control whatsoever over the amount of liquid that falls down my face. Obviously, I am genetically disadvantaged compared to Emma Watson, but crying is about the control you have over your face.
Second thing I found out is:
2. I Cry. Any time. Any day.
Sometimes, I let my mind wonder as I brush my teeth, and I think about what my dad’s face will look like as he hands me over to my husband-to-be … *boom* I’m crying.
Other times, I think about what kind of things I will say to my group of close friends at the end of wedding day…
*boom* I’m crying again.
I can be cleaning our guinea pigs cage and think about a Shakespeare sonnet…*boom* …Oops, I’m teary. Again.
So there is no denying, I need some SERIOUS emotional management before and throughout the whole day. Usually, to avoid becoming emotional, I think about REALLLLLLY stupid things; like what it would be like if I suddenly decided to do a summersault. Or what if my dad suddenly started to rap. Thing is, I’m not sure if that’s what I want to be thinking about right before I say my vows, or as I’m delivering a speech.
Ohhhh, I know people won’t care. When I do eventually look back at my wedding photos, I probably won’t care either, EVEN if I look like crying Kardashian. Truth is, I STILL want to try to have a little control over my emotions on the day.